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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 23, 2008 21:10:35 GMT -5
we had a review club but its so old i thought we needed something new,plus the general section gets more traffic then the club section.any way make your own review in the same format that i do mine,if you want
Name of the game:Gears Of War
Platform: 360 and PC
Review:Usually when a game like GOW is so loved by jocks
I expect it to suck hard.So i was quite suprised by this game being pretty good.the story revolves around marcus fenix,a paroled soldier(voiced by the talented john dimaggio,mostly known as the voice of bender on futurama)who joins a small squad in search of another squad in possesion of an important military item.
the enemies in GOW are known as the locust horde,the native race of the new planet that humans live on.they range from humanoid drones to spiderlike corpsers.but all of them share one similarity,they have skin as tough as fucking body armor. there strength varies depending on the difficulty,in easy mode they can be taken down by about 30 lancer(the chainsaw equipped machine gun)shots.but in hardcore,it can take about 90 if you dont get any head shots.
what i really liked about the game,were the enemies,were the tiny wretches too easy to kill?well then when they explode when they die you wont be saying that.a berserker,a blind miniboss that runs at you when you make noice,kills you in one hit,its also the only thing in the game that can kill teammates.
im tired,so im going to wrap this up.
+great graphics
+ball-bustingly smart enemies
+creative enemies
+innovative gameplay
-fucking retarded teammates
-you need to suscribe to xbox live to play online,which is bullshit
=short but replayable campain mode.
Final score:
[glow=green,2,300]5/5[/glow]
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 24, 2008 3:34:14 GMT -5
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Post by thebluejester on Apr 24, 2008 8:14:13 GMT -5
That thing-funny as shit, but Yahtzee's a bit bias. Game: River City Ransom Platform: Virtual Console, NES When I heard the cult classic (I consider one of the greatest Beat-Em-Ups) was coming to the VC I was so happy. I felt great with the Gameboy version, but it was lacking something... Who cares though? KNOW I HAVE A REMAKE. The game still includes great humor (BARF, MOMMY) and perfect controls. Beating up gangs is awesomer then ever! I ofcourse spent around a day nonstop, completely destroying it and had fun the whole time. Buy it on the shop channel, I did in hopes of a sequel. A great game through and through. The plot revolves around one of Alex's pals getting his girl stolen, so the too go and bust ass to get her. A simple yet fun plot. I love the graphics, but at times the AI is stupid. Mostly though, perfect AI. It also has great weapons which are just, well, great. Wanna hit them with a cane? Hit them. Wanna use brass knuckles? Go ahead. Wanna THROW YOUR PARTNER? Go ahead. Score- [glow=red,2,300]5/5[/glow] www.youtube.com/watch?v=yvPf3cykX5c |
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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 24, 2008 10:44:06 GMT -5
matt your just mad cause you wont be getting brawl til the end of the year(neener neener) but anywho im not mad at yatzee because he doesnt really count as a reviewer,hes hated almost every game hes reviewed,its kinda of annoying cuz if you hate games that much then maybe games arent your hobby.
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 24, 2008 11:31:33 GMT -5
I'm not interested in brawl, in all honesty, its so overhyped i just cant be bothered with it. I'll get it eventually when theres no good games to get.
My review, devil may cry 4, xbox360.
Let me first start by saying this little hunk of monkey cock is the stuff game developers love. You know why, because its an easy game to make, linear as fuck levels with crappy dialogue and a pointless plot. BUT IT SELLS. You know why because of the fan base, dmc 1 and 3 were amazing and 2 was ok. So it has its fans willing to pay top dollar for a medeocre game because they think its gonna be great. The developers knew it would be easy to sell they'd get paid alot. So they water down the first game and make it shinier.
Dont get me wrong there are some fun bits and the cinematics are brilliant, buts its more like an interactive film, with parts directed by Uwe Boll.
Simply put, linear gameplay with annoying characters make for a bad game thats gonna sell due to fans.
Thats what games have come to these days, got fans ready to pay alot of money for a game because the previous games were good.
Trust me dmc5 will be worse, but even after the gay of dmc4 people will pay because they'll think "oh just another dmc2 the next will be great"
Generally a review of dmc4 but kind of a review of new age games in general.
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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 24, 2008 13:22:12 GMT -5
ive always wanted to play a dmc so i told my bro to get me dmc4 for my birthday anywho,time for a mini review:
Name of the game:Bioshock
Platform:PC and 360
+chilling atmosphere
+stunning graphics
+amazing narative and storyline
+innovative powerups called plasmids
+creepy enemies
-10 hours long
-some plasmids are more useless then others
Final score:
[glow=green,2,300]5/5[/glow]
other comments,great game,i loved it,i remember thinking the game was going to end soon,4 hours later it finally did.
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Post by Dark Hamsterlord on Apr 24, 2008 14:32:50 GMT -5
matt your just mad cause you wont be getting brawl til the end of the year(neener neener) Actually, it comes out in July for the UK. Nintendo announced it officially. Also, Yahtzee's review of Brawl was awesome, but he complained about some pretty stupid things. |
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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 24, 2008 14:48:42 GMT -5
awesome?he complained about what makes the game so fuckin funny,your fighting a guy and then you accidently punch an exploding capsule and get launched off screen and die.
and unlike other fighters,button mashing will only get you so far in ssbb,since its easier to dodge attacks.all you can do in other fighters is walk away or try to block,neither ever work.
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Post by Dark Hamsterlord on Apr 24, 2008 15:35:41 GMT -5
awesome?he complained about what makes the game so fuckin funny,your fighting a guy and then you accidently punch an exploding capsule and get launched off screen and die. and unlike other fighters,button mashing will only get you so far in ssbb,since its easier to dodge attacks.all you can do in other fighters is walk away or try to block,neither ever work. Yeah. I just say it's awesome because it's funny. Yahtzee can review a great game and call it terrible, and people won't care, because it's hilarious. |
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 25, 2008 6:21:35 GMT -5
Exactly thats the point of his existance, fan boys take things way to seriously. He's slagged off games i love but I find it funny because alot of the stuff hes says is true.
Review:
Turok, 360
+ Good weapons
+ Knife attacks are awesome
+ Action that pulls you in and wont let go
+ Beautiful graphics and environment
+ Great enemies and characters
- Not for wii
- Short storyline play
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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 25, 2008 11:55:35 GMT -5
you know matt if you want a game were you shoot someone with a shotgun and then run the fuck off then id recommend bioshock,you sneak up to an unknown enemy and give them a good ol shotgun lobotomy.and you get to hit women over the head with a wrench.....and set them on fire......and throw barrels at them.
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 25, 2008 12:28:54 GMT -5
And apparently you get to enslave children!  |
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latimer-kun
Wii Together Regular
IDIOTS THERE WILL BE A KING, I WILL BE KING
Posts: 1,131
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Post by latimer-kun on Apr 25, 2008 15:15:02 GMT -5
sadly no matt, the children are part of a sinister experiment that involes placing these questionably shaped dark beings inside which has this substance called ADAM in which you can spend to acquire mystical powers.
hey im gonna do a review, ive been meaning to try out my review skills for a while and this game is easy to review
mortal kombat armageddon
platforms- ps2, xbox, wii
+ wide selection of characters (every single one from each game totalling to 60 with the new ones)
+ compelling story and clever use of arcade mode
+ endurance mode (you fight about 15 opponents then fight blaze the giant and you then get your characters arcade ending)
+ the wii version introduces a wiimote controller system with wiimote waving superpowers
+create your own character and fatalities (you buy for your characters clothes and other characters special moves, fatalities your press buttons to do various things like tear off your opponents arms and knock off their head with them)
- this game is the last mortal kombat on available systems
- the create your own fatalities eliminates the other normal fatalities and that lacks originality
- certain special moves dont affect the huge enemies
now with a bit of detail. mortal kombat armageddon is the 7th installment and with the inclusion of all the characters the story does seem iffy at times when all the evil and good chraracters go at war with each other and fight for godlike power. the actual story goes that over the years the amount and size of all the combatants has grown to numerous that the ultimate battle could very well destroy the realms. so the elders gods once again find some way to resolve the matter without doing a single thing themselves.one of the elder gods has two sons, the sons shall battle their way through the realms and eventually have to battle blaze, a fire elemental giant that houses his godlike power that when defeated should make he who defeated him all powerful, in the konquest mode you play as taven, one of the brothers and you march across jungles, the artic and hell to battle warriors and achieve the goal of the elders gods.......a nice little mode that combines world roaming battles and regular battles (the ending is a giant kick in the nuts believe me). the game also features arcade and endurance where you kick loads of people ass's and eventually beat blaze. after that you get an ending which tells you what happens when the character claims the powers and what effects it has (like my character surrenders the power to another in return of his cherished friends and he then goes off to battle his rival) as that just implied you can choose from 60 characters and the one you have created. in the create mode you set the height parameters and others, then you choose the clothes that you want then your attacks in which you choose other characters specials and newly made attacks that pick your fancy as well as cool weapon which you can name yourself. now the actual combat has a few twists and you can now jump hiegher and cover more ground and attack in the air. so when you beat your enemies you can initiate a fatality as which you do loads of things, my favourtie combo goes, remove an internal organ, smack their face with my knee, roundhouse kick, tear off both their arms, smack them round the face with them then taking off their head with them. that just about covers it, but another mode i did forget to mention is motor kombat, a racing game that does nothing to the story or unlocking characters and is just bloody mario kart that helps earn money. i think this is a good game but thats all it is, after a while the fighting gets samey and the story is predictable and the motor kombat is boring enough to forgot mentioning. the game is jut one of those that you just do everything then stop playing so i give this game 3 amys out of 5
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 25, 2008 16:33:45 GMT -5
3 amys out of 5? 1 amy sounds good enough for you |
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latimer-kun
Wii Together Regular
IDIOTS THERE WILL BE A KING, I WILL BE KING
Posts: 1,131
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Post by latimer-kun on Apr 25, 2008 16:58:39 GMT -5
eh i thought id personalise it up a bit, 3 out of 5, 3 cherry cokes out of 5, 3 kick in the nuts out of 5, generally an average game
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Post by kirbykiller4 on Apr 25, 2008 17:01:05 GMT -5
3 dead kirbys out of five maybe?
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latimer-kun
Wii Together Regular
IDIOTS THERE WILL BE A KING, I WILL BE KING
Posts: 1,131
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Post by latimer-kun on Apr 25, 2008 17:05:38 GMT -5
exactly, apart from the kicks in the nuts, more is better
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Post by Matt-Sama on Apr 25, 2008 17:17:20 GMT -5
Run of the mill.
3 dead ganados out of 5.
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Post by thebluejester on Apr 26, 2008 12:37:11 GMT -5
SMASH BROS!
N64
A multi million dollar franchise, in America alone. This game started it all. You got all the characters you truly need, honestly, people like Marth and eventually all those clones, were unneeded in Melee and Brawl. This game, doesn't take that crap. We all know the fighting system and how I believe it's a breath of fresh air. It's great, the fighting system is. I also think the precentage idea- great. Not only that, but the art direction and its comic glory I loved, if only they kept that and the dolls in later games. I don't really care about that though. The multiplayer is great, but single player is not the best. I love each and every charcter in this game, so I never found a main. That really is a damn shame. So there is no plot, but Master Hand is really cool, Now that I have Brawl I may Gameshark the other two to play as him. This game also has good stages, but most are boring. The great thing is the items. I love them sonsuvabitches. This also the fifth best-selling game on the Nintendo 64, with over 4.89 million copies sold. This game is great but not the best.
10/12 (Or 4/5) nintendo charcters fighting.
FACT OF THE GAME: The game was orginally Kakuto-G¨¥mu Ry¨±¨ (¸ñêL¥²©`¥à¸oÍõ ?, lit. "Dragon King: The Fighting Game"), but Mashiro just came up with the idea to have Ness strangle Link.
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Post by Matt-Sama on May 2, 2008 6:27:12 GMT -5
What an awesome game it is. I remember playing it when it first game out unlike any other fighter, sheer brilliance. Good review.
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