Rant Club.

[thebluejester]

Newgrounds is shit.


Also, yesterday I saw a white stain in a public bathroom. I hate those things.

[Matt-Sama]

RANT.

I HATED IT IN SCHOOL, THE TOILET PAPER WAS LIKE TRACING PAPER.

[kirbykiller4]

you know whats annoying? working a full week in the hot sun,so you can have some money for games,and then,a few hours before you get paid you smash your thumb with a hammer,i hate irony so fucking much.

[Dark Hamsterlord]

Jun 18, 2008 20:03:49 GMT -5 @kirbykiller4 said:

you know whats annoying? working a full week in the hot sun,so you can have some money for games,and then,a few hours before you get paid you smash your thumb with a hammer,i hate irony so fucking much.

I laugh at your misfortune.

I hate people that say things like "PUT EFFORT INTO YOUR COMICS. YOU'RE NOT AN ARTIST IF YOU USE SPRITES. YOU FAIL"

Although I do agree, if you use sprites someone else made, you're not an artist, Just because your comic is made with sprites, doesn't mean you don't use effort. Some people can't draw, but still want to make comics, some people don't have time to draw out comics, so they use sprites, some people prefer the way sprites look over drawings (me. I love sprites, drawings are cool, sprites are better.)

[thebluejester]

I can draw, but not backrounds, or animals.

[Matt-Sama]

I can draw some pretty good stuff, as seen on my deviant art, im just too lazy most of the time.

[thebluejester]

1) Snake is capable of eating dozens of tins of rations in a short time span, yet is never seen using the bathroom, or even walking funny.

2) While playing the game, players are forced to take drugs to improve their sniping abilities. As I’m sure you’ve heard, this has precipitated a marked increase in reported instances of teenage “drug and gunplay” parties. Compounding the problem, this comes at the cost of much less oral sex parties.

3) Halfway through the second game, Solid Snake dies his hair blond and is played by a woman. This is never explained.

4) Shaking down bad guys to steal their dog tags before murdering them is a war crime, and not a “cool feature.”

5) The guards in the Metal Gear games will give up searching for you, a heavily armed infiltrator/murderer, after about 30 seconds of half-assed poking around. This is just one of many instances of the series heavy anti-union sentiments on display.

6) The bad guys also never raise their gaze from the floor, constantly scanning the ground about 10 feet in front of them. Terrified of lilliputian interlopers or constantly on the lookout for spare change? You tell me.

7) Female Nudity. Needed more of it.

8 ) In the first game, several characters die from a disease called FOXDIE, which is spread by toilet seats. This has long been proved to be an urban legend.

9) Even though Snake is capable of slaying dozens and even hundreds of enemies at a time, in every encounter he’s confronted by an infinite supply of enemies, forcing him to run and hide - a humiliating fate for one so powerful. What kind of message does this send our children? Just what kind of American is series creator Hideo Kojima anyway?

10) Starting right in basic training, professional soldiers are drilled to never display exclamation marks above their heads when surprised. If you ever get the chance to observe this training I highly recommend it: the exercises they conduct to learn this skill are hilarious.

11) Snake’s radar doesn’t work when he’s hiding under tables. Are these tables made out of lead? Is there kryptonite near by?

12) Also, why can’t the bad guys see Snake on their radar?

13) Also, how can Snake see bad guys on his radar? Are they made of aluminum?

14) Also, why does Snake have radar?

15) A plot element from MGS2: “Revolver Ocelot gets his arm amputated, and replaced with the arm of his boss Liquid Snake - an arm which later seizes control of his brain.” Although all the words in that sentence are common within the English language, in that arrangement they make no sense. “Garbage truck vagina is a vagina stonemason’s boner phone” is another example, and will be uttered during at least one codec sequence in MGS4, in all probability.

16) Setting too high of a bar. In the beginning of MGS2, you’re told that the President has been kidnapped. Any game that compares itself to Bad Dudes so openly is really setting itself up for a fall. Bad Dudes is the Cadillac of video games.

17) The idea of massive killer robots is a classic staple of Japanese culture, and is fair game as far as plot devices go. But the concept of massive killer robots living within a much larger massive killer robot is stolen almost verbatim from an episode of The Golden Girls. (ep 06e13 - Strange Bedfellows)

18) Too many themes. In Metal Gear Solid 2, the plot touches on elements of existentialism, censorship, evolution, information control, free will, and the meaning of reality. The only other work with that many themes that I can think of is WindowsXP, which is generally regarded as being the worst video game ever made.

19) The scene where Otacon revealed that he had slept with his mother which caused his father to commit suicide and his sister to hate him, wrecked not just the three obvious relationships, but four, if you count my girlfriend, who was in the room while I was playing through this scene, then stood up, walked out the door and never turned back.

20) The ending. If I recall correctly, the ending of MGS2 featured a conspiracy theory which was itself part of a larger conspiracy theory which turned out to all be a dream - a dream that was orchestrated by a separate, gayer conspiracy theory. Then Snake turned, looked right into the camera, made a gun with his fingers and said “Fuck you.” I felt that was unnecessary.

I just noticed, Metal Gear Solid 2 sucks. This is a list of why.

Also I hate EA, alot.

[Matt-Sama]

KURT RUSSEL RULES SOLID SNAKE YOU FUCKING CUNTS.

[thebluejester]

Kurt Russel is a barrel of meh

[Matt-Sama]

FUCK YOU YOU CUNT

[thebluejester]

Just wanted to see what you'd say. Kurt is awesome.

[Matt-Sama]

RANT TIME.

I FUCKING HATE THE STREET FIGHTER MOVIE.

[thebluejester]

I hate the Mario one! So retarded, for so many reasons.

[Matt-Sama]

I enjoyed it for that very reason.

[kirbykiller4]

so i bought one of those "gaming chairs" for 50 bucks,its just a leather rocking chair with speakers,AND THE FUCKER ALREADY BROKE,THE SPEAKERS ARE FRIED AND THE CHAIR ITSELF IS TEARING AT THE SEAMS BECAUSE ITS TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO SUPPORT MY MONSTEROUS SELF!!!!!!!!

gah i knew i shouldn't have been a cheap bastard,i should have gotten the nice hundred dollar model that isn't made by babies in china.my bros is awesome,it has a big fucking subwoofer that shakes your body to the core.

[Matt-Sama]

I FUCKING HATE SALAD.

[thebluejester]

You know what I hate? Assholes who want to teach Creationism as Science.

[kirbykiller4]

yeah,

" teacher why are there dinosaur bones in the ground if evolution does not exist?"

"SATAN PUT THEM THERE TO FOOL YOUR FILTHY MIND!!!!!"

[thebluejester]

It's such bullshit. I want to cut people when I hear their bull.

[kirbykiller4]

i wonder what humans will be like in a few million years? i bet we just have bigger dicks and thats all.